did moi shopping wif moi family today ya.
kinda happy wif moi gains... altho not very much^^
erms. bought moi targetted bag... reduced to one as mama said e other one not nice.
haix.
nvm. shall hope tat i will see some better and cheap ones. hah!
bought a pinky mickey wallet too.
e old doggy one gonna die soon. dirty and tattered. i jus bought not long ago!!! and i loved it!!!
heartache.
love moi new wallet oso as much sia. hope wont dirty it again... quite big ya. bought at 15 bucks, discounted 90 cents. haha...
saw one flat wa wa shoes i lik at kovan. mama won't buy fer me no matter wat... complained tat i've many shoes le. hai ya.
anw, finally bought rachel's b'dae present...
altho i think she'll not lik it, butta... ...its thots tat count! ^^
hope she lik moi card ya. made it wif moi heart and squeezed moi brain juice b4 i finally reached tat idea...
kinda proud at moi tat idea. laugh out loud!
mama sorta generous today ya. bought me almost everything i want. haha.
and nah. fer cny's sake, i gonna buck up in moi slimming plan ya.
hope to slim down at least 3 kg this month. tho its almost impossible.
but still, i will try moi very best!!!
bought a super cheap jacket today. only 5 bucks!!!
kor tot its 20 over dollars. haha.
so happie at tat man. but mama at 1st insulted moi yan guang and say its not nice... but in e end she agreed tat it looks okay too. haha.
nvm. tat jacket gonna be moi casual outfit. so its alright^^
papa originally wanna buy a small white lappy fer me. tgt wif e broadband.
butta, its really small. cant put any disc or anything. can only use internet.
somemore mus strain moi eyes when using it.
so abandon e idea. gonna look fer a better and more practical one.
oh ya. today is 2nd uncle's b'dae.
jus noe it around 6pm. hah!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to him ya!
he planned a sorta family dinner at ubi playground fere de food court.
butta we're at AMK, cant rush back in time.
but still we went to take a look when we went back around 9+pm.
saw dem. saw rachel too. haha.
sat down and chatted.
but who noes?
chatted fer a while nia, we going back liao.
no fun.
jus reached e climax of bella and edward's beautiful love story...
hah!
alright. shall work hard on slimming down.
hope will succeed.
oso. to improve moi skin thru diets and masking. hah!
okay. good nite.
Labels: you can do it gal...
YFREEDOM..
11:09:00 PM
cnnt tolerate any longer.
hate him to e core man.
no words or phrases can describe moi this hatred towards him...
i'm sOoOo angry.
and yet, no idea why, i can't flare up.
felt moi heart getting colder towards him.
whenever i see his sickening face, felt lik puking and tear off his whole face sia...
tat stupid pig!!!
YFREEDOM..
12:10:00 PM
Saturday, November 29, 2008
blister super pain nw. after moi bath...
gals always suffer fer e sake of themself sia.
we're PATHETIC!
intend to pack moi room today.
butta, look at e messiness... and e 'ugliness'...
no mood liao.
wan moi room to be more girlish look. as in more 'fairytale'... hah!
but wif all e com and lappy in moi room... my dream fades away from moi touch even more ya.
even moi bags tat i'm gonna to buy soon hav no place to live in.
ARGH! stupid com and lappy!
ruined e beauty of moi room...
gavril asked me to organise another 'fg gathering'(chalet) wif joyce ya.
haix.
easier said den done.
all those procedures, money and brain juice...
killed us last year sia.
somemore nw ex-2fg seems to be falling apart.
jus lik moi sorta, clique...? in e beginning of e year til nw.
altho me and joyce hav patched up... wat bout e rest?
how do they face each other if there's a gathering??
headache...
somemore not everyone are willing to pay tat sum of money.
said its expensive... or some even back out last min last year.
so its not a very desired option isn't it??
an outing seems more practical.
ha! nvm. shall see e majority vote after gav ask ba.
phew~
kinda felt better now.
not as stuffed up as jus nw. can finally breathe.
found moi soul back.
kinda filled it to lik half??
erms. jus made plans wif amanda fer shopping fer clothes ya. moi favourite... hah!
cny coming too. mus shop fer suitable clothes...
don lik last min chionging liao. nw mus get started.
altho only 2 days. still mus cherish it, live it to e fullest... *sadded sadded*
holi left a month nia. AH!
getting worried fer moi hw and revisions sia...
okay. shall kip moi eyes open big big to shop fer clothes, bags, shoes and everything ya...!
good nite!
(now seems a bit early fer me ya??)
YFREEDOM..
9:10:00 PM
realised tat i'm alone...
kinda lost among the crowd. not sure wat to do.
moi heart is empty today.
felt nth but sadness. flooding myself wif emo songs nw...
guess i'm crazy. some emotions jus swept past me and i'm sadded nw.
felt an urge to weep. in fact, to cry out loud...
no idea. being exceptionally emotional today ya.
felt moi world being dark and empty. wif no trace of light.
no one ever try their tiny bit to even step into moi world and giv me a hand. or even a tap on e shoulder.
tats wat i'm feeling nw...
lost. yet ppl are actually around me.
but somehow i don't feel their presence. tats weird rite?
getting this feeling on a perfectly wonderful saturday.
trying moi very best to shower dem wif moi love yet they jus don appreciate.
look out of e window and realised: i'm jus a nobody...
dey made me felt lik i'm someone that is disposable.
it hurts.
it really do.
moi feelings, thots and mood are very much ignored.
sometimes still doubt tat i'm alive.
moi heart shrinking. contracting. squeezing.
struggling to hold back moi tears b4 them as i wanna appear strong.
dispersed in all direction... moi soul is empty.
they nv notice wat i'm currently feeling.
they nv try to understand.
things are not always wat they r on e surface.
moi heart always do its best to seach fer their concealed fears, find their hidden sorrow, guess their true feelings and understand their inner beings.
but i received nth in e end but a huge chunk of misunderstanding. a gigantic storage of tears and scraps of broken heart.
i noe...
being cared and understood are always missing from moi dictionary.
but luckily, i hav 2 besties by moi side to lend me their tiny ears.
and giv me their greatest and warmest HUG.
moi soul-mates...
Zhong San Xiao Hui and Sweetie Hippo
Labels: i hav happiness... but am i really happy??
YFREEDOM..
4:10:00 PM
Friday, November 28, 2008
kinda funny. but nv watch e 1st part. kinda lost in some scenes.
jus realised i'm jus taller by laogong; joyce abit. always tot i'm quite tall. erms. kinda shocked at this... but nvm. i shall accept e truth. but its weird tat sometimes i felt tall sometimes i don...
me and laogong ya...
quite forced to take e pics... hah!
jus realised i look kinda fat in tat bf tee.
photos kinda blur... i'm standing straight wif legs crossed ya, not tat i onli hav one leg.saw nth nice at 1st. but spotted a shop in e corner selling bags.
targeted 2 bags while laogong targeted one.
no money so shall buy next time. hah!
e best thing... persuaded mama and papa to buy me one each. kinda 'sai nai' lahx.
so happy. hope can get it soon.
laogong so fast planned our next outing ya. christmas eve...
asked me to stay over in her house fer christmas as we're still single. haha.
butta parents kinda strict. so cnnt...
guess hav 2 wait til i'm much older b4 i can stay over in frien's house.
saw a 'guai shu shu' today.
'he's' obviously a MAN... with extremely short black and white hair and mustache.
he looked no way lik a lady or even an aunty.
yet he's wearing a tight-fitted low-cut top with erm... ... purple leggings i guess?
oh my. e worst thing is...
he's wearing a HIGH HEELS bout 7cm, brown colour with heels tats not more den 1cm in width.
thats horrible... joyce and i got chua dio.
saw 'TWILIGHT' humongous poster on e wall of e cinema in AMK hub.
Robert Pattinson is jus soOoO shuai ya. laugh out loud...
LOVE e movie and story man.
cnnt imagine wat will happen when e movie comes out. wanna watch e premiere sia.
hope nth goes wrong tat day... 18dec'08.
still... no news fer my job ya.
sadded man. wanna earn money...
jus received 30 bucks from papa fer e bags. suddenly not sure whether shld buy it anot. kinda shakened.
feels lik i'm spending their hard-earned money damn easily sia.
thats y i wanna work. so tat i won't need to spend their money.
in fact, i can giv them money. tats a more preferred way fer me. but... ... haix... ...
hope to make my 1st million before 30 years old. tats kinda hard...
but shall work hard!
KAMBATEI!
Labels: ...millionaire's dream...
YFREEDOM..
11:29:00 PM
Thursday, November 27, 2008
spent whole day outside... kinda tired...
butta, finally completed moi physics c-map! yippee!
wat a sense of satisfaction ya... haha...
ytd's anger oso faded... yaya, one shldn't b angry fer so long... its kinda tiring too...
had a sushi tea-break wif rachel... happy eating...
e hand-roll is really stupid. seaweed wrapped in plastic den wrap around e ingredients...
how do we eat wif tat?? hah!
had a horribly terrifying nightmare last night...
dream of stepping into someone's house in a sorta haunted and deserted HDB building wif kor and dunno wat happened...
e aunty in e house started chasing after us...
wif a face tat is fierce+scary+crazy...
i ran as fast as i could along e road wif kor... don dare to turn moi head.
run run run... suddenly e aunty appear out of nowhere before me. holding out her hand to catch me...
ended... i woke up...
super scary sia... couldn't slp wif ease... moi heart gonna jump out of moi mouth...
always dream of this sorta running nightmares... gonna scare out of moi whole life sia...
joyce jio me out tmr fer watching movie... and doing payment fer e halter top...
hope everything will be fine tmr...
gonna meet her at 11am... kinda early...
guess i hav 2 wake up at 9 to prepare myself...
hope i won be lik today, slept late... haha...
still hav no idea wat movie to watch tmr... think hav 2 make last min decision.
feel lik watching 'body of lies' as Leonardo DiCaprio is acting in it...
hah! loved his movie 'Titanic'... totally obsessed wif it.
too bad its NC16... sadded...
but guess 'wild child' is not too bad... its kinda funny... haha
still waiting fer 'twilight' to appear on e big screen ya. still hav 2 wait til 18dec... DAMN LONG!
come 2 think of it. i haven even finish 1/4 of e book... laugh out loud!
start to buck up on reading it tmr ba... exhausted nw.
ah yeh yeh. promised to watch 'winx club' wif rachel man.
kinda regretted it. pestered to watch tat 'nice' show.
think its sorta childish and unreal. why is dere a movie lik this?
weirdo. shld pool money on other movies ma. lik real life animal stuffs or a comedy?
oh ya ya... saw junlin wif his frien today on moi way to skool...
kinda shocked.
lookin at moi reflection on e bus in e bus-stop, making moi hair.
nv notice wat bus is tat... think is bus 60??
suddenly at e corner of moi eyes saw someone waving.
looked up and saw him... dunno how 2 react.
pointed and waved back. followed by awkward as e bus stop dere fer quite some time...
looked away and play wif moi shoes to wipe out e awkwardness.
wat a day.
anw, bought all moi sec 4 books.
e young male shopseller is indeed funny.
fancy asking me 'do u wan a plastic? you really sure u wan a plastic?' haha
sound lik he's reluctant to giv me. hah!
he oso laugh at his own sentence tho. tats fun.
took 2 identical HCL textbook to pay at e counter. how stupid am i??
no face le... throw all moi face into e ocean sia.
cant believe ms alice au called me.
kinda stun dio at tat. called me to ask fer signing up e workshop.
1st time encounter a job wif this kinda thingy. haha.
she's nice and humorous tho. jus tat don feel lik pooling moi money into this workshop. hah!
btw nobody wanna attend it wif me. find it meaningless...
shall wreck up an excuse if she calls me a second time. butta...felt kinda bad at doing this ya.
forget it. take one step at a time ba.
Labels: anger fades. muscle-ache.
YFREEDOM..
11:16:00 PM
its almost 3 in e morning...
and its raining badly...
i cant believe i'm still awake...
no idea wats e reason tats keeping me awake... hah!
but think gonna try to lie on moi bed, counting sheep soon ba...
guess i'm gonna hav a headache tmr morning again... dizziness is making me sick...
anw, amanda dear, here to mention u... haha
bon voyage fer ur trip to malaysia on sunday oO...
lucks~
good nite everyone...^^
Labels: insomnia overcome miie...
YFREEDOM..
2:53:00 AM
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
miserable... sneezing whole day long...
tot i gonna rub moi nose off man... wonder whether i can afford to hang on fer tmr...
wasted another day again...
spend moi whole day at home still... completed nth again...
tired. eyes feeling uncomfortable. felt it burning when i close moi eyes fer a break during show time intervals. wonder wats tat bout...
feeling sad tat moi tv kinda cmi... its moi life support fer holi nehx...
hang on there ah, moi tv! i can die without it...
pathetic... shorts gotten 'polluted' by chuanyong's urine this afternoon... so scary sia... scared out of moi entire life when i sensed something warm drenching moi shorts while he's sitting behind me... shouted. he looked at me wif his pitiful big round eyes when i kinda scolded him fer not hinting to me... immediately go into e corner near moi bed and stand wif back against e wall as punishment... haha, cute~ sayang him and change his diapers after tat, altho still quite angry at tat... LAUGH OUT LOUD! adorable, yet naughty...
he's looking more and more lik his sis... actions, expressions, high-pitch tone and everything...
still, he liks to shout... and scream...
butta its kinda fun to scare him... haha... becum super obedient after tat... ^^
whoo woo... blog finally saved by moi 'lao po' suying... hah!
still hav much to learn sia...
but finally its a complete blog le... haha...
finally, noe some truth bout 'tat matter'.
looked thru his texts last night and realised things aren't tat simple afterall...
in fact, its very complicated...
yet he wouldn't tell me no matter how i probed...
really could not understand how did it progressed to such an ending...
hope he can pull himself up and carry on wif his life lik a man...
haix... there's someone...
i treated her wif moi heart and yet she doesn't even really treat me as one...
in fact, she only wan me to treat her gd and no vice versa...
gotten a job rec by kor last week... and i immediately ring her to ask her if she wan e job as we've agreed to rec each other if we've gotten a job...
agreed... butta in e end, e job kinda full, so kana cancelled...
its not moi fault tat we nv got e job...
but no matter wat, at least i ring her, asked her and everything...
i kept moi promise...
but did she??
she texted me this afternoon...
told me she gotten a job. may not be able to do hw wif me tmr as we've planned to...
end, said she will be doing her job on sat and sun...
among all her smses... none of it contain any ideas of asking me fer e job...
not tat i complain over e slightest thingy...
jus i couldn't tolerate ppl who cheated me, break their promises or selfish as to think of their ownself...
haix...
haix...
haix...
really disappointed...
tot she wasn't lik tat... tat she changed fer e better...
oOps... jus rmbed i owed rachel a b'dae present...
gonna get it within these few days... hah!
wa, 1st lenghy post so far... haha
alright den...
shall carry on wif moi life...
sweet dreams...
Labels: LeMoN hEaRt...
YFREEDOM..
11:50:00 PM
seriously, i think e song is weird... altho its quite nice, butta somehow e music doesn't seems to suit e show... haha.
lee teng's shower cap and pyjamas damn funny... LAUGH OUT LOUD!
tgt wif pornsak, they form e funniest pair in e show man... haha
jeff wang and zhenghan's 'shuai, mei, class''s cardboard chair idea oso lol... broke down when e zheng han sit on it during e 1st try wheras nth happen when e gal sat on it... haha... so funny...
LAUGH OUT LOUD!!!!
butta cnnt deny, they are really very CREATIVE and INNOVATIVE! cnnt possibly think of these ideas if its me... hah!
still waiting fer 'yu le bai fen bai'... as its Aaron yan's return to campus... haha.
gonna watch e "Pi Li MIT' sia... hehe...
Aaron yan is really yan dao nehx. haha. and tall... haha.
alright, hope something interesting will happen 'tmr'... hah!
nites...
YFREEDOM..
12:35:00 AM
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
completed nth again. hw piling as high as a mountain... feeling lethargic to even touch it...
dinner is eaten at a miraculously late time of 8+pm... hah!
long time nv eat wif tuangiap and kor at e dining table le... always ate b4 e tv... mum kinda happy at this sight... said something lik "wa, miracle! u all are all eating in e kitchen... haha"
during dinner, i realised tat mum always giv up e best things to us... taking in e bad things or kinda sacrificing herself... felt really upset when i heard this... i noe she and dad really love us. sorta strict but loved. altho they r fierce at times, but there r oso times when i can really feel their love...
mum and dad, I LOVE YOU LOADS!
after dinner its tv time!
8.30pm- Go Green...
9.00pm- Little Nyonya...
10.00pm- C.S.I
watch bits of 'Go Green'... yuan shuai is really shuai in e show, at least better looking den he was in e competition... haha... e show is nice~ e cuifang is better in e show den in e 'dou shi da fa xian'. its funny too... laugh out loud~
followed by 'Little Nyonya"... tot tat it wasn't a nice show... don intend to watch it actually... butta watched bits, realised tat its not bad afterall... in fact, its kinda nice... laugh out loud! fought over e remote control wif papa, lost in e end D; nvm, i getta watch 'women of times'... long time show, nw replaying...
hope tat i can hold on til 1... waiting fer 'yu le bai fen bai' to show, 'du shi da fa xian' and 'Go Green' gonna show too, starting at 12... haha...
asked kor bout 'tat matter' while watching 'zhuan jiao yu dao ai'... he nv ans me anything, sounds lik 'silence means consent". tok to him bits regarding 'tat matter', comfort him and giv him some guides... he's really stubborn man! remain silent... lucks to him ah~
ARGH! BORED sia.. anyone pls? organise some outing ma~
coop up in house is killing me man...
i wanna work too!
woah~ tmr gonna see whether raymond really looks lik 'wu ke qun'... haha...
kinda forgot his looks le...
okay, gonna study hard 2 weeks ltr... play hard too!
good nite everyone...
Labels: ripping me apart...
YFREEDOM..
10:12:00 PM
wake up at 12+noon... somehow feeling tired still :D
gt a little tiff wif moi brother, tuangiap over com... its not actually a tiff, its jus he's showing off his temper fer not being able to use com... nevermind, as a sister, i giv it up to him... switched to moi kor's lappy...
asked from mum to take care of chuanyong, moi baby cousin... he's really cute~ running here and dere, draining moi energy... played hide-and-seek wif him, he's really hiding where i teach him to... SO CUTE!!! butta hav 2 pretend i nv see him, tats tired... he's getting more and more addicted... played fer bout more den half an hour... poor me, hav to coax him out of his hiding place when i found him... haha! laugh out loud!
FINALLY! make him a bottle of milky milk... and mum bring him to sleep...
phew~ finally freed! got time fer blogging... hah!
joyce texted me... asking bout e payment fer our halter tops... ordered a blue one, sounds quite cheap compared to other blogshops... only 14.80! hope i won't regret it man~
ARGH! jus reminded tat i haven do moi c-map! sianz~ still hav 2 download e system and send to mr lim... boring job sia... don feel lik doing...
haix yeh... still brain-dead on how to manage moi blog... its killing me! giv up... gonna consult someone when i'm free... how stupid...
wanna find a job sia... pinning all moi hopes on korkor... hope he'll bring me gd news during these few weeks... b4 i started chionging on moi studies... moi Os coming soon!!!
its a BORING day!
hope to hav some outing sia... but wallet becum thinner & thinner each time i went out... kinda sadded... jus learnt something recently: its really sad and helpless when you're broke...
LAUGH OUT LOUD!
okay, shall end here...
shall continue at nite yah...
play hard everyone!
bye~
Labels: its tired~
YFREEDOM..
3:36:00 PM
haix, so fast~ left 5 weeks nia. sadded... 5 more weeks to e farewell of my freedom! so everyone, live to ur fullest during these period... hah!
altho its 25nov, but i'm writing in e mind of 24nov ah... haha...
went fer calli today... kinda boring... jus sat down dere, writing non-stop during every lessons, BORED! butta e cher quite gd, so its not at all so bad to be rite dere... hah! and nah i gotta dismissed earlier due to moi excuse of buying books(its real tho)...
planning to buy sec 4 books wif rachel after moi cca... but who noes? e bookshop closed at 2+pm, close to 3... rachel came to skool fer nth, to be precise, fer 5MINS! haha... laugh out loud! really looks lik she came to fetch me tho, haha...
erms, at least theres something meaningful... we've gotten our ICs! we're officially 15! come to think of it, its kinda old... haha... but everyone has to grow up isn't it?? so, forget it... hope our next year can slow down man, this year passed so fast! never quite enjoyed moi sec 3 life enough sia...
saw chuanjie on our way out to the bus-stop fer bus 30... and we're heading towards e same bus-stop... but guess wat? he saw us and walked straight to the next bus-stop. oh man! damn dao! planning to say a 'hi!' to him, but since he's kinda 'shy' den forget it ba... speak frankly, its really so much of a COINCIDENCE!
go to rachel's house planning to finish up moi c-map. butta, completed nth in e end, sianz... gotta carried away wif playing and relaxing. looks lik i needa buck up in e next few days to finish it, must hand up by end of nov... ARGH!
worst of all, i gotten laughed at fer my hokkien... heng! jus speak a few sentences den gotten laugh at... haha... but i understand they're jus joking lahx... haha...
haix... someone is soOoOo stubborn... kindly offered moi help yet kana treated lik shit... i already noe everything... wats dere to b secret bout? ridiculous!!
update it tmr night... which meant today's night^^
good nites~
Labels: wats falling apart?
YFREEDOM..
12:22:00 AM
